lost

Hey..

i know it's unnecessary to appear in this kind of time, but you know me. 

i'll write exactly in this time.

*inhale*

*exhale*

Lost.

did i? i get 2 yes answers. literally and meaningly. 

first, i can't hide my sadness for losing my SOL23, my just 3 months mobile phone. My first phone i brought home by my savings.

Previously, i bought it for my subtitution phone. Since my actual phone was getting broken on July :( and the CS said it would be fixed around 3 months.
Well, while waiting, i decided to look for a subtitution, for temporal. But after i meet my SOL23, it turns into love in the first sight. lol no. i tried to use it just like an alternate, but by the time it had me, all of myself's saved on it. 

everything was just fine, everyday was so fine.

until.......

i couldn't take my eyes, my hands off it. I hold it for likely 24 hours. 

I know my activities were going around it. 

I thought it was still normal, still being human as well.

But maybe Almighty God saw me being a slave. 

Maybe He saw me being so far, so far from Him. 

Maybe i was turned into a human being He hates me to be.

.

and that day...He saved me.

this's not a horror story

Horror Stories

LOL as i said on subject,  I’m not gonna tell you this kind of stories.

I’m that one ‘s not gonna watch Insidious 3 just by myself. I hate horror stories too.

Once I hit my friend’s face an got him blooded (sorry) because he impersonated the fuckin satan that appear at my kost-mate room.

But sometimes the other side of myself is so curious of horror stories. Well, one day I was scrolling my timeline on LINE. One of my friend shared a post from a horror stories account – I forgot the name, but one behind the account I guess they dedicate their day for sharing horror stories with a scary picture, yeah for making it more frighten. Oh don’t worry the picture sometime fail me #pride.

Well, I read it – lol yes I’m the one who’s got trapped by this kind of post – and I thought the post was kinda different. It was not telling the horror stories like usual, you know the spoke place that there’s a ghost inside, a folk horror stories, horror experiences, ect – yes, yes, I have big desire to open the page nd read almost all of their posts lol.

No, it was not about those all. The post was telling about the people who’s not afraid of this thing. He bought a house, but there was something not right about this house and the seller had told him about it and he said it’s okay. First day it seemed nothing wrong, the next day strange voices stared appearing, but he still did nothing about it. The next next days it went worse. Every night loud voices all around the house, he started feel sick about it, but never feel being afraid at all. And then he talk to the ghosts loudly, he was sooo upset about what the stupid ass ghosts done. He talked angrily that they made him sleepless every night, broke his things, he talked harshly they they’re stupid ghosts that live at his house, whereas he paid for the house. They had bad behavior too, they were so irresponsibly breaking thing. And why didn’t they just go outside or back to their world, would it be easier for them.

After that, they didn’t ever disturb him. No strange sound or voices appear, no broken things happen again. Guess they were the one that afraid.

AND YES I’m SO AGREE WITH HIS ACTION, SCOLD THE GHOSTS. I THINK IT’S COOL.

After I read it, I remember about my own experience. I live at 2 places, home and kost (well, whatever it is in English). At my room at kost, I had once yelled to hm I don’t know I’ too afraid to admit if it was horror thingy. Yea, it was hm I forget if it was day or night but there was a little so loud that annoy me but I didn’t find the source, so I yelled (a  little upset and many frightened too), “DUH, APAANSIH TUH BERISIK BANGET WOY” #actlikei’mafierceone #lol and then it stopped, and never happened again and thank God.

Thank God because I love my room, I don’t know what to do if that sound suddenly appear again. I cant live at my comfort (at least for me) room.no, I have to fight and won’t let them living in too.

I know many of us can’t stand of this stuff, include me. But all I know, most and many of them that we meet, err know daily, just want to annoy us, make us frightened and sometime make the atmosphere feel spooky. And maybe they feel delight after make us like that. But,  they can’t hurt us physically. And as I watch they do afraid of us that don’t feel afraid of them, especially us that fight back.

Well I’m not planning about writing preach. This is just out from kid that after all this time and write she still can’t watch Insidious 3 just by herself.

20?

#Nowplaying Beach Boys – Wouldn’t it be nice

Good late-nite, Blog!

Feel strange to know I come here just for 6 days after the latest post?

What does in the world make me here for usually a year or at least not even a month after the latest one?

I don’t even sure what It is but I have a thought. A late night thought. Sounds deep? Maybe. Or probably i have read about blogging and writing in the magazine, GoGirl, and I start thinking “yea, it’s right”. AND I am soon to be a public relations, which means writing is my absolute jobdesc. And I’m trying to learn writing here.

Before I start to write down – type down – my thought, there’re things I want to clarify on my latest writing.

1.       I have asked C if S was her elementary school mate, it’s clearly not. That possibility just happen on my dream.

2.       I have googled the specification and it said it’s sleep-paralysis and lucid dream, which means the next step after the paralysis. Still scared but thank God, it doesn’t happen to me again, so far. Because the next day I slept in my parents’ room.

#Onrepeat Beach Boys – Wouldn’t it be nice

What’s with the song? Well it’s not part of my thought but I think it does have coloration as a beginning.

It’s one of must listen-songs on your holiday playlist. Said my other magazine, CosmoGirl. Well I like the song. Just download it – illegally of course – this afternoon.

You know what?    HOLIDAY IS OVER. HOLY FVKIN SHID NO. *crying and rolling on the floor* *CROTFL* *CROTFL* I am writing this in the first day of campus life’s started. BUT Thank God (again), this’s also my day off. FYI I got 3 days off this semester, at least before the mid term. AW-YISS!

With – ow shit I left my writing last night and slept. Yea sometime writing could be like sport. Humm where’s our conversation?

Let me re-read first..

.

Still forget it..

Okay, I’m going to arrange new word.

Yup 20.

I just saw a posting of senior of mine on a social media. The point is he’s being 21 that day. And it reminds me even more, again) of myself. It’s already 2015! And it means I’m turning 20 this year. The fact is I’m not that happy knowing about it. It makes me feel, old? Yea I know, I shouldn’t. but 20, for me it’s a big deal. I’m not kid anymore, I have to struggle all by myself, not literally, but you get it, don’t you?

Like, 20? Really? You gotta be kidding me. I’m not even done with my teenage years. I know it’s just number. But I feel like number is kind of labeling. You’re 20 you have to blah blah. You still 10 you can’t be like blah blah. You’re xx and you gotta get job. Aw fvck it!

I don’t want to leave my teenage lifeeeee! *crying out loud*

I don’t mind being adult. I’d love to. I’ll get my own home, having cat, going anywhere without being messed up by anyone else. The point is nobody will set my life anymore. I have my own control of my life. You know what for me it calls freedom. Yes. I do love freedom. Maybe because I have B-Blood type, or maybe because I never feel, well just a little, freedom (defined by me) in my life. Or probably it’s the result of mixing both.

Sounds nonsense, huh? I have another thought that life doesn’t always make sense, to make life lives.

Buh-byee                            

Kish kish

Yo, Bloggie!

Well, since I want to post something without read by any human living so I decided to come here.

I had nightmare last night.
And bad dreams.
Also sweet yet weird one.

Till this post is being written, I feel odd. My brain rewind the dream like 9999 times.

Humm..

Do you ever feel your body cant be moved as you're sleeping, cant even wake, or at least open the eyes and you know that consciously.
I dont know it's my mind make it or you know like I made a vision while my eyes were closed.

I tried to move my hands, my legs. I worked. I was moving to my mom's rooms. But a next second I knew it's only on my mind. Yes I still freeze on my bed. And it's happened many times.

As I knew I cant do nothing, I abandoned. Stuck on the bed, dont know what to do.
And then strange noise was heard. I dont kbow what it is, but it's loud. Not in my ear, it in my mind. Suddenly I feel something spread throughout my body. I was scared. I try to istighfar. But as I tried, the noise and that thing that spread onto my body even louder and the tention was higher. 

And the it's all gone. 

Black out while asleep? I dont know.

But then I dreamed. 

It's a bad dream. I'm sorry but I dont remember..

I woke. And back to sleep. 

Here's started the sweet yet weird dream.

I'm in a kinda luxury pool at the beach with my collage friend. It was "INGATH" event by 2014, but I was like 10 meters away with them. Alone. And then somebody got me. At first I didn't remember who he is. But I tried and I knew him. He's (let's call him) S. Holy what??! He was my crush at junior high school! The silly stupid annoying asshole! Oh God why dont you just die :( kidding! Wkwk
He went to a cottage. I followed him. There was my collage friend, C and his brother. 
She said she go with her elementary school friends. 
So S is C elementary school friends? What a tiny world.

I went back to the pool. Still alone. And suddenly he was at my back. We did small talk, happy chit chat. 

I thought he was over with his gf. Ho thanks God! :p

I dont remember what else next, but and then I woke up. 

Shit.

So it was just a dream? 

Why should I wake???

Well that's it.
Bye 👋