20?

#Nowplaying Beach Boys – Wouldn’t it be nice

Good late-nite, Blog!

Feel strange to know I come here just for 6 days after the latest post?

What does in the world make me here for usually a year or at least not even a month after the latest one?

I don’t even sure what It is but I have a thought. A late night thought. Sounds deep? Maybe. Or probably i have read about blogging and writing in the magazine, GoGirl, and I start thinking “yea, it’s right”. AND I am soon to be a public relations, which means writing is my absolute jobdesc. And I’m trying to learn writing here.

Before I start to write down – type down – my thought, there’re things I want to clarify on my latest writing.

1.       I have asked C if S was her elementary school mate, it’s clearly not. That possibility just happen on my dream.

2.       I have googled the specification and it said it’s sleep-paralysis and lucid dream, which means the next step after the paralysis. Still scared but thank God, it doesn’t happen to me again, so far. Because the next day I slept in my parents’ room.

#Onrepeat Beach Boys – Wouldn’t it be nice

What’s with the song? Well it’s not part of my thought but I think it does have coloration as a beginning.

It’s one of must listen-songs on your holiday playlist. Said my other magazine, CosmoGirl. Well I like the song. Just download it – illegally of course – this afternoon.

You know what?    HOLIDAY IS OVER. HOLY FVKIN SHID NO. *crying and rolling on the floor* *CROTFL* *CROTFL* I am writing this in the first day of campus life’s started. BUT Thank God (again), this’s also my day off. FYI I got 3 days off this semester, at least before the mid term. AW-YISS!

With – ow shit I left my writing last night and slept. Yea sometime writing could be like sport. Humm where’s our conversation?

Let me re-read first..

.

Still forget it..

Okay, I’m going to arrange new word.

Yup 20.

I just saw a posting of senior of mine on a social media. The point is he’s being 21 that day. And it reminds me even more, again) of myself. It’s already 2015! And it means I’m turning 20 this year. The fact is I’m not that happy knowing about it. It makes me feel, old? Yea I know, I shouldn’t. but 20, for me it’s a big deal. I’m not kid anymore, I have to struggle all by myself, not literally, but you get it, don’t you?

Like, 20? Really? You gotta be kidding me. I’m not even done with my teenage years. I know it’s just number. But I feel like number is kind of labeling. You’re 20 you have to blah blah. You still 10 you can’t be like blah blah. You’re xx and you gotta get job. Aw fvck it!

I don’t want to leave my teenage lifeeeee! *crying out loud*

I don’t mind being adult. I’d love to. I’ll get my own home, having cat, going anywhere without being messed up by anyone else. The point is nobody will set my life anymore. I have my own control of my life. You know what for me it calls freedom. Yes. I do love freedom. Maybe because I have B-Blood type, or maybe because I never feel, well just a little, freedom (defined by me) in my life. Or probably it’s the result of mixing both.

Sounds nonsense, huh? I have another thought that life doesn’t always make sense, to make life lives.

Buh-byee                            

Kish kish

Yo, Bloggie!

Well, since I want to post something without read by any human living so I decided to come here.

I had nightmare last night.
And bad dreams.
Also sweet yet weird one.

Till this post is being written, I feel odd. My brain rewind the dream like 9999 times.

Humm..

Do you ever feel your body cant be moved as you're sleeping, cant even wake, or at least open the eyes and you know that consciously.
I dont know it's my mind make it or you know like I made a vision while my eyes were closed.

I tried to move my hands, my legs. I worked. I was moving to my mom's rooms. But a next second I knew it's only on my mind. Yes I still freeze on my bed. And it's happened many times.

As I knew I cant do nothing, I abandoned. Stuck on the bed, dont know what to do.
And then strange noise was heard. I dont kbow what it is, but it's loud. Not in my ear, it in my mind. Suddenly I feel something spread throughout my body. I was scared. I try to istighfar. But as I tried, the noise and that thing that spread onto my body even louder and the tention was higher. 

And the it's all gone. 

Black out while asleep? I dont know.

But then I dreamed. 

It's a bad dream. I'm sorry but I dont remember..

I woke. And back to sleep. 

Here's started the sweet yet weird dream.

I'm in a kinda luxury pool at the beach with my collage friend. It was "INGATH" event by 2014, but I was like 10 meters away with them. Alone. And then somebody got me. At first I didn't remember who he is. But I tried and I knew him. He's (let's call him) S. Holy what??! He was my crush at junior high school! The silly stupid annoying asshole! Oh God why dont you just die :( kidding! Wkwk
He went to a cottage. I followed him. There was my collage friend, C and his brother. 
She said she go with her elementary school friends. 
So S is C elementary school friends? What a tiny world.

I went back to the pool. Still alone. And suddenly he was at my back. We did small talk, happy chit chat. 

I thought he was over with his gf. Ho thanks God! :p

I dont remember what else next, but and then I woke up. 

Shit.

So it was just a dream? 

Why should I wake???

Well that's it.
Bye 👋